THE IMPORTANCE OF DEVELOPING INDEPENDENCE

We always want what’s best for our children. Without a doubt, our kids need us for love, guidance, and assurance, but there are times that some well-intentioned parents go overboard to a point where they do everything for their growing child. We show our love by being there every step of the way. Personally, I think we also need to give our children some space to decide on their own, and to create opportunities to help them grow. After all, our goal is to raise independent and self-sufficient children. Hence, I have listed 5 main reasons why you need to teach your children the importance of independence:

• Boosts self-esteem.
  There’s a sense of fulfillment when you know you have accomplished a task on your own. Your child feels the same self worth whenever he accomplishes things, he becomes more confident in dealing with life’s challenges. So, support your child’s desire to become independent at a young age because he will become more confident on his future choices.
• Provides opportunities to know what they want.
  Your child need to practice making decisions. Allow yourself to step back and let your child decide on what he wants. Start with small things and let them choose what they want to wear whether it’s the blue shirt or the orange sweater. As parents, give them a set of choices to choose from. Your child will appreciate the freedom to choose what he wants, and along the way, he will learn more about himself. Ultimately, he will realize that he can’t have it all so he needs to choose wisely.
• Helps in handling stress and failure.
  To help him handle stress, you just have to let him evaluate situations for himself whenever a task wasn’t completed to your standards or the standards of his teacher. A certain amount of stress is normal, but a lot of children experience stress because they are afraid of making mistakes. Children learn from their mistakes. As they say, experience is the best teacher. Eventually, he will learn from the consequences of his actions and he will master the art of handling negative feelings.
• Allow things to naturally move and follow its course. Don’t do his homework just because he’s busy playing. Don’t buy him a new toy just because he destroyed his favorite action figure. Help your child realize what happens when he is not responsible for his choices and for not following certain rules. If he needs to blow off some steam, be there to offer some parental advice and guidance.
• Helps in learning new things.
  By now, there are things that your child can accomplish all by himself and surely, it did not happen overnight. He learned how to tie his shoes through constant practice. After a series of trial and error, he will gain knowledge on how to do things effectively. When he does things on his own, he will learn the responsibilities and consequences that come along with his choices.
• Teaches self-discipline.
  When your child knows that his actions have corresponding consequences, he will think things through before deciding on what course to take. They will carefully consider the aftermath rather than just aimlessly choosing what’s convenient. Teaching your child how to solve his problems is definitely a life skill!

When my children were growing up, I challenged them by asking them to complete a task and then I’d leave them to their own devices. I felt a sense of pride to see them so excited after having gone through trial and error to reach the end goal. They felt accomplished too! Before you step in to help them accomplish a task, ask yourself, if your child is skillful enough to do this task on his own? As parents, of course, we want to provide our kids everything they need in life. However, it is also important to guide them toward independence. Help your children to think critically and resist the urge to provide solutions for them whenever possible. The best gift we can give our children is to help them to grow as independent and self-supporting adults who can roam the world without fears and hesitations.

Sources:

http://msue.anr.msu.edu/news/developing_independence_in_children

http://www.smartkidsschool.com/item/2011/05/the-importance-of-teaching-a-child-to-become-independent

https://psychcentral.com/lib/7-tips-for-helping-your-child-manage-stress/

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